Thursday, December 11, 2008

The Why's of Life...

The Answers to the Questions in My Life

Question 1: Why do I subscribe to every blog and website that seems even remotely interesting?

I mean, I have 249 messages in my Hotmail inbox, 135 of which are unread. That's not including all of the subfolders I have. Each day Martha Stewart's little lemmings send me a nice email about the Cookie of the Day, or the Craft of the Day, or the Organizing Tip of the Day. Do you know how many are still sitting in my Martha Stewart email folder? 624.

624 things that I never got around to sewing, crafting, cooking, baking, or organizing. Organize that, Martha.

Oh, and by the way, I have a Gmail address, too. Gmail is for friends and family, Hotmail for vendors and other fun things. Maybe we should have a contest to guess how many emails Aubrey has in her Gmail box.

Possible answer: Aubrey is a junk collector and wanna-be multi-tasker. The plethora of email subscriptions shows how she likes to collect, even if it's only in digital form. The emails about crafts and cooking and other homemaker tasks shows all of the things that Aubrey would like to do but never gets around to doing because she's always thinking about what she should be doing next.

Question 2: Why do I never see my husband?

Possible answer: Aubrey's husband, The Cowboy, got a new job making ice cream. Great job, great pay, great benefits...not so great hours. The Cowboy is supposed to work 10 PM - 6 AM...this way Aubrey would see him when she is getting up for work and before he leaves for work. Unfortunately, the trainers at the ice cream factory don't want to work 10 PM - 6 PM, so they decided that The Cowboy should work 4 PM - 12 AM, which has actually become 4 PM - 4 AM.

The positives of this situation are that Aubrey gets to watch any chick flick she wants, play piano whenever, party all the time, study, clean, craft, bake, blog, etc.

Unfortunately, Aubrey is too tired from lack of sleep to watch chick flicks, play piano, party, study, clean, craft, bake, blog, etc. Plus, her internet doesn't work at home so she has to blog whenever she can find a few moments to play with someone else's internet.
Question 3: Why do I have an obsession with shoes?

Possible Answer: Okay, so I catch a lot of flack from the hubby, parents, siblings about this one (but girl friends would never criticize me for this!). Yes, I have upwards of 75 pairs of shoes. Why? You never feel fat when trying on shoes. I don't buy more clothes, I buy more shoes. Plain and simple.

Question 4: Why have I borrowed the book "How to organize just about anything" like 50 times from the library?

Possible Answer: Aubrey is never organized enough to finish this book and organize her life.

Question 5: Why am I condemned to wear my glasses for a week or more?

Possible Answer: Aubrey may have fallen asleep one night on the couch while waiting for The Cowboy to come home from work with her contacts still in. This may have horribly irritated her eyes, causing her to be in burning pain for days and leading to a sick day from work. Of course, sleeping with your contacts in can be fatal.

Really, I'm serious! A lady at work asked me what was wrong with my eye, I told her, and she said that her mother was taken to the ER one time because she left her contacts in, got an infection which felt like a sinus infection, let it go for way too long, and ended up in a near death situation. The doctor called my co-worker and told her that even if she sped like a mad woman she may not make it to see her mother before she passed. Luckily, she recovered.

Come to find out, an infection in your eye like that one, if in the wrong place, can lead to your brain and you have the possibility of dying from it.


Question 6: What makes Aubrey sad?

Possible Answer(s): Aubrey misses her family, who lives only 1/2 hour away, but she only sees them once/week max.

Aubrey misses Germany and wants to live there (she would take her family with her, of course). No joke, I miss Germany so much that it actually pains me. I actually feel a lump in my tummy when I think about it. Okay, enough of that.

Aubrey misses The Cowboy. Will he never have a day off?

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